Finding the path of healing
Early in life, I discovered for myself that serious illness can offer extraordinary opportunities for healing and self knowledge.
When I was 20 years old - freshly graduated from a prestigious French engineering school & at the beginning of my professional career as a M&A analyst for Societe General in London - I found myself in emergency surgery for a perforated gastric ulcer. I had spent the day at my desk hiding my intense abdominal pain and tenderness from my M&A team. My angel roommate (Alicia, I hope you are reading me right now - thank you for saving my life!) dragged me to the ER as soon as I hit home later that evening.
Driven by my ambition, I had been keeping a fast paced schedule of hard work, little sleep, lots of stress, and undernourishing meals - who did not love a cold pressed green juice from Pret a Manger back then… ! That night and the following weeks in recovery under the care of my mother, I realized that great pain was a reminder that one had strayed from the natural rhythms of life.
Yet, before I accepted this truth, I moved to New York City, accepted THE job as consultant at McKinsey and naively thought I would make up for that failure in another star city. I ended up exhausted myself for another two years struggling with anorexia, secondary amenorrhea, debilitating constipation, and a not so great mental health - hello anxiety!
Over the course of these two years though, I found refuge in Yoga. 841 Broadway - Jivamukti Yoga NYC was my sanctuary, my deep inhale, my sangha. Every class allowed me to see where I had deceived myself. I wept during the opening chant, I wept in urdhva dhanurasana, I wept in shavasana, I wept until I could finally hear the whisper of my heart ‘this is enough. you deserve to live a life of good health and serenity’. That same year, I signed up for my first Kundalini Yoga teacher training, followed by the one month Jivamukti Yoga immersive training. The year after, I met Dr. Vasant Lad and initiated my studies of Ayurveda. And just before quitting the corporate race, I attended my first 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat. And my life took a forever different course.
Photo credit @halouny
My hope is that my story may serve as an inspiration and an invitation to listen to the aches of your body & heart and to the compassionate voice within that instructs you in living life differently.
My wish is that more of you dare to reach out for support - whether it to reset your digestion, review your daily routines or tend to a more complex chronic condition. I am an email away if you wish to book a discovery call with me.